Love Exists Outside of Men

Some of us are trying very hard not to care. Others are holding it together in public. Some are posting ugly red roses and some of us  are reposting quotes about self-love and calling it growth.

Valentine’s Day, you either love it or you hate it.

Somewhere in between all of that, a simple question:
Did you celebrate your friends’ love as loudly yesterday as you’re celebrating romantic love today?

Yes, yesterday.
The 13th.

Oh… you forgot?
Again?

Because love didn’t suddenly appear this morning. It was already there.In group chats. In shared bathrooms. In girls hyping each other up before dinner. We are trained to center romance. To elevate it.
But Friendship rarely gets candles and dress codes. But maybe it should.

Galentine’s Day is not a sad little side note next to Valentine’s Day. It is a choice to celebrate love that already exists instead of waiting for love that may or may not show up on a specific date. It is choosing the people already in your life. The girlfriends. The women who bring presence, comfort and consistency. Love is not missing just because there is no boyfriend. There is no lack of love. Literally none.

Love exists in friendship. In the girl who knows exactly which lipstick shade you ran out of. In the friend who sends you screenshots of dresses saying this is so you. In women who show up whenever for you. Love is everywhere and closing off would be the wrong choice.

Galentine’s Day, the 13th of February. The day before Valentine’s Day. The day without having to train a boyfriend with hints about flowers. Without weeks of subtle suggestions. Without pretending you do not care about flowers while deeply caring about flowers. You get your girls together and it works instantly.

A cute dinner reservation. Easy. Set. Done. Somewhere that feels slightly romantic on purpose. Candles. Red wine. Dressing up for absolutely no one except yourselves. Wearing something fancy or low cut or whatever you feel like without a single thought about the male gaze because there is no gaze to manage. You look good because you want to. Because your friends get it. Because women dressing for women hits different. Being pretty. Doing your makeup. Doing your hair cute. Maybe a manicure with tiny hearts. Putting on jewelry. Spritzing your favorite perfume. Doing the whole vision. 

It's the best kind of imagination, getting ready at home with music on, blasting your favorite hits, bathroom chaos everywhere, half your wardrobe on the floor, hair spray rolling around, someone desperately looking for earrings that were literally right there one second ago. Somehow you still make it almost on time, you feel good and you already know you will deal with the mess tomorrow because tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and you have the whole day to chill, no ungrateful son stressing you, which honestly feels like a luxury. You arrive, exchange sweet little gifts, a tiny thing you once mentioned six months ago that somehow she remembered.

That is the thing. Girlfriends do not need instructions. We listen. We store information. We know. And we love. The energy is instantly right. You notice the shine of her lip gloss and compliment it without hesitation, she reaches into her bag and hands it to you immediately, try it, it will look so good on you. She notices one of your rings, oh my god I love that ring, and before you know it she is trying it on. Someone is late, as always, but it does not matter, you just order the first round of drinks. Stories start flowing, the vibe locks in and at some point you all end up in the bathroom taking pictures and spilling the really hot tea that could never be said at a table where other people are around. You feel the spark between you and your friends, everything feels light, unserious, easy and you are laughing about everything and nothing at the same time. Everything is fun because you are together, and in that moment it is very clear that this is love too.

It is February, the love month. Ads everywhere, valentine’s menus everywhere, another romantic movie dropping right on time. The industry makes romance unavoidable and honestly also very entertaining. You should still enjoy it, watch the love stories, love love. This is not about trash talking romance. Love is the greatest thing we have. Some people have it romantically right now. Others have it in different forms. Galentine’s Day is not anti love. It is pro love. Romantic love will come and go, which is fine. That is literally the circle of life. If this year there is no romantic love in February for you, it is not a problem. Do not stress. Do not panic. Do not look left and right comparing who is doing what with whom. Being single does not mean waiting. It does not mean life is on pause until romantic love arrives and presses play. It does not mean you are in some temporary state, killing time until the real thing begins. Life is happening right now, it is a chapter on its own, with its own rhythm, its own beauty, its own freedom. You are not holding space for someone else, you are fully living in your own space.

So much of life is framed around arrival, as if love is the moment everything finally starts to count. As if joy, celebration, intimacy, softness, effort, and beauty only become valid once they are shared romantically. But that is not how it works. You do not need permission to live well. You do not need a relationship to justify dinners, outfits, trips and memories. You do not need romantic love to feel chosen. Romantic love will come when it comes, or it will leave when it leaves, and neither defines the value of the life you are living in the meantime.

Missed Galentine’s Day?
Good news: friendship doesn’t have a deadline.
If you didn’t show your besties the love they deserve yesterday, why not do it today?

In fact we shouldn't limit celebrating love to February. Maybe we deserve a Galentine’s Day once a month. Celebrating girlhood should not be annually. Grab your best friend. Grab your single girlfriends. Grab your friends in relationships. Make it cute. Make it intentional. Make it yours.

Because honestly, what are we even stressing about?

  by Lareen Roth

PHOTOGRAPHY BY PINTEREST